


Special Love

by DarchangelSkye



Category: American Idol RPF, Music RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Birthday, Confessions, Couch Cuddles, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Cute, Dialogue Heavy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heart-to-Heart, Kissing, Love, M/M, Social Media, Sweet, Wordcount: 100-2.000, inspired by instagram, past emotional abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 08:59:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5242415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarchangelSkye/pseuds/DarchangelSkye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"I'd never try to change you. There's nothing to change."</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Special Love

**Author's Note:**

> Title from [this post](https://www.instagram.com/p/-Hw1nENH7B/?taken-by=rayvonowen). Yes, that's real. Oh Ray ;)

Rayvon had stayed curled on the couch beside Nick for an hour or so now, drifting in a state of half-sleep with his nose nuzzled in his boyfriend's neck. After coming back to Nick's hotel room from their celebratory night out, the pair had just collapsed there to be close, and thirty fun birthday kisses had turned into slow makeouts and sensual touching that washed them over in bliss. It was the safe and warm love Rayvon had always wanted.

Occasionally he heard a chuckle from Nick and a soft electronic beep, and at some point he got up on his elbows to look. Just as he thought, Nick scrolling through all the birthday wishes on his Instagram feed. Some pictures were selfies with fans, some were collages, some were cute cartoons of cupcakes with a candle and scribbled message, and there were even a couple pencil drawings so detailed to leave him in awe. "Gettin' a lot of birthday love, huh?" he asked and kissed Nick's cheek.

"Yep," he felt fingers lightly scratch over his hair, "but not special love like from my Ray of sunshine," Nick turned his head for a kiss the younger man could still taste champagne and cake on. Sweet and warm, just right.

"Mmm-" When Rayvon broke the kiss, he licked his lips and wrapped his arms around the back of Nick's neck. "How does it feel being thirty?"

Nick shrugged. "Honestly, it hasn't really sunk in yet. I just keep thinking back to last year when I wasn't sure if I was too old or not to keep chasing my music dreams. But I took the chance anyway."

"And we're all glad you did." Rayvon stroked down Nick's jawline slowly for the stubble to make a pleasant scratch under his fingers, and he watched Nick shut his eyes and smile sweetly under the touch. "Happy thoughts?"

He nodded. "You're good to me. I didn't think I could ever know a guy so good to me."

Rayvon let his fingers trail down to the bump of Nick's collarbone before asking in a teasing disappointed tone, "Is that supposed to mean I'm not your first guy?"

"You'd think I know as many moves as I do if you were?" Nick playfully waggled his eyebrows and the two laughed. "Nah, there were a couple others...y'know, back in college."

Rayvon just shrugged. The past honestly didn't matter to him, just that Nick was happy and healthy and here now, all his. He snuggled close again and arched his back in a stretch, not expecting Nick to elaborate any further. But he did.

"First one was more of a friends-with-benefits thing that just kinda fizzled out, not really a big deal-" Rayvon stopped himself from thinking aloud the fear that this relationship would end up the same thing when Nick continued quietly, "but the other one was...not good."

Rayvon propped himself again to get another look at his boyfriend's face. The smile had dropped and his eyes were downcast, as if lost in memory. "He didn't hit you, did he?" he asked, just barely keeping his temper in check at the thought of anyone daring to lay a hand on this wonderful man who only wanted to make people happy with his music.

But Nick shook his head. "No. He was smarter than that. He was mean in...other ways."

Still not good. Rayvon felt a shiver down his spine at the implication and cupped Nick's face in tenderness. It seemed the memories were overwhelming the older man as he pressed close enough in the embrace nothing could pass between them- or break them apart.

"Jesus, it's been years. Most days I'm OK not thinking about it, but then others..."

"Y'wanna talk about it?" Rayvon asked softly and rubbed a thumb under Nick's eye. He felt rather guilty for bringing the subject up in the first place, but something told him Nick had never really gotten the chance to get it out of his system with how crazy his life had gotten.

It took a long moment of slow and deep breaths before he finally spoke, not lifting his gaze.

"We met a game after-party. He was a business major, couple years older than me. He fit the type down to a T- you know, everything has to be just so and appearances and first impressions are everything. I look back on it now and realize he was uptight and controlling, but back then I just thought it was him being organized. It was flattering to have such a smart and good-looking guy pay attention to me. We got serious pretty quickly."

Rayvon felt another quick chill. He'd certainly been told enough times he was smart and good-looking as well- seemed like Nick had a type. But there was no way he was like this other guy, right?

"We'd been going out for a couple months when the comments started about my appearance. He didn't like when my hair was cut a certain way, or if my sleeves were too short or jeans too tight, especially if it meant other people flirted with me. I never flirted back but he still hated it. He said if I was going to be dating somebody important I shouldn't look like a 'Jersey Shore rentboy'." He shivered at whatever the memory meant deep down inside.

"That's just stupid," Rayvon muttered and caressed Nick's face some more in comfort. He knew Nick took great pride in his looks and loved working out and wearing flattering clothes, something the both of them had reaped the benefits from many times over.

"I know, but back then I thought it made sense. I had to grow up and tone down my look so I did, but people would still hit on me and Andrew would still get mad. It got to the point I could barely to hi to people after playing gigs and was quiet a lot. My parents and friends were worried, but I ignored them. I wanted to prove they were wrong about him."

Uptight, controlling, _and_ major jealousy issues. As petty and possibly hypocritical a thought it was, Rayvon hoped that wherever the hell this Andrew was now, he was seething over the fact he pushed this beautiful man away and into the arms of someone truly determined to love him and not let go.

"One day I heard he'd gotten an 'in' with a good company and could work for them soon as he graduated, so I organized a surprise party for our family and friends at his apartment. I wanted to look my best, and I wanted to show my family that Andrew wasn't as bad as they were making him out to be. So I bought the fanciest outfit I could afford, got my hair cut that afternoon- my shirt collar was cut a little lower than I'd been wearing in the past months, but that didn't matter to me. I felt like a movie star, and I wanted Andrew to look at me and be proud of me like I was proud of him."

Rayvon knew where this story was going and it made his heart hurt. He kissed Nick's forehead and gently stroked down a sleeve.

"He walked in to see me talking to a female colleague of his who had her hand on my shoulder," Nick's voice was whisper-soft and near-broken, obviously reliving the memory. "He was, like, livid. For a moment I thought he actually _was_ going to hit me, but he just said in front of everyone that he wouldn't be seen with a man who dressed and acted like a 'stupid little doll' and walked out of the party meant for his honor." 

"Oh, babe..." Rayvon touched their foreheads together and gazed into Nick's deep brown eyes, reading so many emotions at once. Nick wasn't going to cry- he usually wasn't the type- but the humiliation was brimming under the surface.

"I wanted to sink into the floor and die. But after we broke up, my family and friends were able to help see me through the hold Andrew had on me. But it took a while before I could feel like myself again, dress and act the way I wanted...and definitely a while before I dated anyone again."

The room became silent then, and Rayvon brushed a careful fingertip down Nick's cheek. One of the worries that had been niggling at him since the start of the story floated up- "We kinda got serious pretty fast-"

"It's not the same," Nick interrupted and gently grabbed his wrist. "You're not like Andrew. I mean, you're a hard worker but you're not brutal about it. You care about people. I fell in love with that."

Rayvon sighed in relief and nodded. "I'd never try to change you. There's nothing to change."

"Even when I snore?" Nick grinned and tilted his head.

"Wellll..." Rayvon playfully trailed off, only for Nick to surprise his sides with a tickle attack that quickly left him breathless with laughter and playfully kicking his feet about. "Oh my god, Nick, uncle, sto-o-op!" Even if he did like the fact his boyfriend was happy again.

Nick eventually relented and dropped his hands to just settle on Rayvon's hips. Rayvon held to his chest to remember how to breathe and looked to the face he loved that was back to smiling, a smile he could tell was real.

"I couldn't change you, either. I love you for you, too. You know that?"

Rayvon nodded and leaned close enough for another kiss. "Thank you."

"And you." Nick slid up his hands to cup the younger man's face, all that tenderness and safety he'd been blissed by earlier. "You really do give me that special kind of love."


End file.
